Life....
At the very begining I knew that wanting to be a midwife would changed my presepective on life. However I didn't know why or how. I just knew that things were going to change. Upon coming here I had never seen a birth, I didn't know what to suspect, from within the clinic, of Davao, and even of the Philippino culture.
One of the obvious reasons was just leaving... leaving my comfort zone and going half way across the world to become a midwife. However traveling and moving to a new place tends to change your prespective on things anyways. In the last three month (its crazy that its been that long) I've learned that midwifery isn't just an job, but a lifestyle. Always changes, and you never know whats ahead.
Two years ago I knew I wanted to go to the work with Muslim women, but midwifery didn't even cross my mind. A year and a half ago I was content on going to CC and being a nurse. It was almost a year ago (sept) that i first heard about MMC and the clinic here.
Now I'm here, I'm in the Philippines of all the places to be. If someone told me I would be living in a city of 1.6 million + people I would of walked away laughing at the idea of a small farm girl wanting to go live out in the bush......living in a large city...What??
God had a plan, and at first i was hesitant even with the idea of living in a large city, being away from home, would I even enjoy midwifery, could I handle birth and all that goes along with it. As I continued to research midwifery God continued to break down the door of hostility of my heart. Within a few weeks I knew that if the door stayed open, that I was going to walk though it.
Well I am here, and I've never been so busy. I've never been streached this much spiritual, emotionally, or physicially. I've seen life and death, I've seen how close they really are. I've had days where I all I could do is sit on the balcony with my bible and just wait on the Lord, and days where I didn't want to pick my bible because I was confused, hurt, upset, but Jesus is faithful!!
In the end I've come to relieze I've been blessed beyond measure. Yes I've had a rough childhood, Yes I've seen a lot of things that most people will never see. I've been beaten, broken, torn to pieces, yet that was where I meet the Lord. In brokeness I are complete! In Christ I find strength to move forward, In Chist I find my rest. In Christ I find my hope.
Even right now its midnight, I just finished my dinner because we had a crazy shift at the clinic. 5 births during shift, with postpartum almost full(4 bed) at the begining of shift ( 5 assist : ), 1 more and then I can catch : ) .... I'll get to handle soon). In the last 3 months I've seen 28 birth, observed a few, charted for at least 15 and assisted for 9, and almost 60 prenatals. If I assist one more and catch the next it will be baby # 30.
About 8 months ago God began to stir up my heart for midwifery and many of you know about the dream/idea of Foma-Hope and how I want to use midwifery and someday go to the Muslim world and be the light of Christ, by being able to give practical care to pregnant women, but also build relationships with the women that I serve that I may be able to share Christ and the hope that I've found in Him.
Sometimes I want to pinch myself because it doesn't even seem real that Foma-Hope is a reality right now as I am being teachable, as I learn to be a midwife, as I gain the knowledge needed for where may God lead me.
Well I better stop since its after midnight and I have Sunday Night shift. Plus I have homework to work on... and I am getting up early for church, international missions Sunday at the Foursquare church... it going to be great to see everyone dressed in tribal clothing and see all the other nation that make up the Davao foursquare community : )
I'll post an update on the international missions service, and about my shift sometime Monday.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Prenatal Friday
Psalm 34:1
fetalscope and tape measure
my pink stethescope "grace be with you" ending to the book of Titus
psalm 139:13
Fetalscope and tape measure again
Reasons why I love Fridays!
- Its Friday.... : ) weekend is here
- 7:45 devotion with Prenatal Friday clinic staff
- Prenatal clinic every Friday unless I had Monday clinic
- I get to see lots of buntis... (pregnant women)
- Worship in Cebuano and sometimes English @ 8 in the waiting room before health teaching.... The buntis are so cute when they sing and do hand motions or kaiy kaiy...(exercises) : ) I hope I'm that cute when I'm pregnant.
- practice Cebuano
- do prenatals : )
- listen to the baby's kasing kasing... (heart)
- I love to let the women listen to imong bata kasing kasing...(their baby's heart sounds) with the fetalscope... smiling buntis : ) so so precious! (monday clinic is the best with first time mothers... when they hear their babys heart rate!)
- palpate to find the babys position.... I find it weird when I can palpate and say of that is the foot or hand and most of the time I get kicked/punched...I don't they they like someone grabbing or their little feet/hands : )
- I get to give injections
- praying with the buntis before they go
- being able to recognize patients : ) ... especially when they come into the birthroom : ) and give birth on shift... then I get to meet the little one : )
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The journey of life
Many of you have already seen my last prayer request and e-mail if you are apart of the TFBC prayer chain. For those that didn't get it I decided I would also make a blog post as well.
This last week has been one a hard week if not the hardest week of my life. At the begining of the week I had my first Monday prenatal since being in Davao, (we are scheduled for one prenatal day (friday) a week for clinic and then 1 monday prenatal clinic a month) which is where the patients come have an interview and then get their first prenatal exam. I was working in bed 6 with Jenna a 2nd year in bed 5, so that if I had any question I could easily talk to her.
So with my limited Cebuano it was hard to communicate, lots of complications, lots of TT1 injections - tetanus, large UTI's, abnormal labs results, young mothers (14-16), malnurished mothers, abnormal heart sounds and the list goes on and on....
* prenatal story* - one patient that I got to do prenatals on had abnormal heart tones and was taking an antibiotics.... with my limited language skills asking about the antibiotic was easy but understanding why was the hard part. Frustrated I asked Jenna to double check heart tones and ask her again why was she taking an antibiotic, because I couldn't understand why, did she go to the doctor, did a neighbor tell her to take them... the possibilities are endless. However it turned out she had gone to the doctor and the doctor had given then to here, for what reason I am not sure. So since I could move on to the next patient because I needed Jenna to look over my her chart, I decided to look over the chart and just talk with her ask simple questions, was she married, did she have a job, so I got to practice my language skills. In the end it ended up being a mix of cebuano and english because she wanted to practice english with me. Her due date is end of December, and by the end of our conversation she asked if I would be at her birth if I was still in Davao and if I could 'catch' her baby. At this point I wasn't assisting, so i couldn't say I could catch, but I could be present at the birth. yay! In the end the fetal heart rate were still really after Jenna checked again high 180's, so we asked her to go eat and drink some water and come back and see if they would come down into normal range . However at the end of prenatal she didn't come back : ( day! However I did reschedule her in Nov, and I have her number so I can text her the morning she is suposed to come back to the clinic. she will be about 33 weeks next time she comes in, I would love if it you could pray for her and that when we check heart rates again they are within normal.
*spider story* Tuesday morning I got to sleep in yay! 11 am for the first time in a long time, and I had nothing to do until 1pm. The house was almost empty (kayla,me, and two other people sleeping in the air con room) a quiet house. So my first thought was make lunch, go out and sit on the balcony and read my Bible for a while. Not the case, as I reached the stair Kayla stated that we had a spider in our laundry room. It wasn't just the little black jumping house spiders, it was this really weird spider and it was eating a cockroach... I would take the cockroach over a spider.. finally Jenna came to save us : ) Since killing it with a flappy flip flop was impossible. Almost two hours later with the help of a bottle of lysol a plastic container and broom (also thanks to Amber who finally killed it) the spider was dead. So much for lunch, it was now 10 min until class, grab a cucumber and go....
The spider and Jenna with a bottle of lysol. The lysol slowed him down enough so we could squash him!
* Is Verde Outreach *
Every Other Thursday, we go to Is Verde for prenatal outreach, its along the ocean, on the outskirts of Davao. There is a small muslim people group (really poor) that live in Is Verde in which we give care to, so they don't have to travel all the way to mercy for prenatals. Instead we go to them... and then when they are in labor they make the trip to the clinic.
*Night Shift* Thurday - A VERY LONG DAY! I was on outreach 8-12 in the morning, then classes 1-5. I came onto night shift @ 10pm with a cup of tea and some crackers. I think I only had two hours of sleep two 45 min naps. No labor to endorse, it looked like it could be a slow shift. However around 10:40 a young girl came in very distressed, and in active active. Once she got to the bedside we knew that something was wrong. A high fever, Heart tones for the baby 200-210. not good, not good. the baby was stressed and we couldn't ask question because the mother was in and out because of the fever and she was fully... birth cart ready, gloves on... suction machine ready, towel in hand to wrap the baby... Oxygen given to mother... (This birth was going to be my first assist, what do I do? Just listen to the supervisors) Baby was out at 11:01 and within 10 min baby (archy) was transported to DMC.
When we got back to MMC, we found the mother to be doing better, the fever was down within a couple hours. When she finally started talking didn't even know she was in labor , later on that night she told us she came to get a check up on the baby because of the fever.
Then around 4 am we had another birth assist #2. a beautiful birth and a very sweet BB boy!
6 am, end of night shift! Air Con room @ 6:30am, 5 hours of sleep I was back up again @ 11:30 to talk to Hannah a friend I met at Trinity Western. Then lunch and class at 1.
2 hour nap and then Night shift again! Nothing happened on shift until early morning. I slept for a couple hours, did some home work. 4:30 am, two labors came in. At endorsements we had two labors pushing, so I charted for one and around 6:45 we finally did endorements to the next shift. One of each a baby girl and a baby boy! A great way to end the shift!
7 am sleep time! YAY! It was Saturday so I didn't have class, so I slept a good 7 hours in the air con room. I spent the rest of my Saturday at Yellow Hauz coffee shop working on homework from 3-9pm. With the intentions of taking Sunday afternoon off as my day of rest..
However God had a diffrent plan. Sunday 6 am day shift. Around 6:30 before it got busy, Jenna told me about Archy the baby we transport on Thursday night passed away at DMC, and she wanted to ask if I would accompany her for she was going to go to the patients house to do a postpartum three day check on the mother when we got of shift
So below is my account of what went on....
Heidi McCully’s God Story
LIFE!
Edited by Bill Crepeau
After finding out on shift today that the baby I helped deliver passed away, I wasn't sure what to think. At first I was upset, mad at God, this 18year old mother has been though so much, her boyfriend’s family had taken her in, her first child (a product of incest and rape) was with her mother and they had no contact. I knew right when I heard the news that today wasn't going to be my stay at home and rest day like I had planned. The family asked us if we would come to their home to check on the mother rather than forcing her to travel all the way to the clinic.
So at 3:30 we met the boyfriend’s mother and grandmother and jumped onto the Jeepney (a small jeep, brightly colored and converted into a bus) for two rides to the outskirts of town.
I have to love the Filippino people, they just say what they are thinking.... I became the joke of the evening. First I am learning the Cebuano language (2 months of class so far) and I spoke very little but could understand most of the conversations. Jenna, my partner in the delivery and this adventure, has a full year of Cebuano and knows much more than I. The mother knows English but the grandmother knows very little English. I really don't understand what was so funny about this but it was repeated close to 30 times, almost every time we would go into another room or meet someone along the dirt road. Then the conversation went to “how many languages do you know”, that was fun. I ended up speaking Cebuano when I was asked to say hello in Fulfulde. Foma ended up coming out as “mayoo hapon” or good afternoon. Once again I was the talk of the evening. We were way out on the edge of town and these folks never had an American in their home, or rarely in their area.
In another conversation on the Jeepney I was called "tambook", meaning fat or plump! I can't take offense, it is a complement. The mother was talking with Jenna in Cebuano and I could hear that they were talking about me and again, the word “tambook.” Jenna replied, “gwapa sya” (she is pretty). Then as we changed Jeepney routes and I got out the mother helped me down and then grabbed the side of my shirt and says “sexy!” So odd. Later on in the evening I learned she was saying that when she saw me on night shift last Thursday she was saying I was very plump and fat. However now I looked sexy to her and not as fat - but still plump as an American. They do not see things with our eyes, nor do we see with theirs.
Jenna, that was handling the birth, is from Vancouver Island so we were so excited to see a dirt road, pot holes, mud, gardens, lots of trees, and even a small creek. It was like being in the country after spending every moment here in a crowded city setting. It took about 20 minutes to get to the house. We sat outside the house and greeted the neighbors and family members. Around 4:30 the father of the baby showed up saying that he was drinking to try and forget the pain of losing his first born son. He was really emotional, broken and in tears. Please pray the young mother, and her boyfriend. The boyfriend really opened up to us, however the mother didn't say much. After we did the check upon the mother she began to join our conversations, however, you could plainly see the brokenness in her eyes, and that she was trying so hard not to process what was going on. She was guarding her heart. It was really cool to see God work even in this situation and how he placed Jenna and me to minister to this family.
A really cool note: the boyfriend’s brother’s wife is 7 months pregnant and Jenna and I are taking her as a shared continuity patient, she is due in December. We are going to see her for the first MMC prenatal check-up in the morning! When she gives birth I'll be either catching or assisting : )
* update on this, She couldn't get a prenatal done this last Monday because it was not enough notice and I haven't heard when she is scheduled yet. Hopefully she can get in soon since she is 7 month along.
I felt so blessed today,even though I didn't know what to say, I was scared, I was loved in a way I've never experienced before, I was humbled by the graciousness that this family gave to us. They were so welcoming. They were in poverty yet gave so much, they opened their hearts, their home, they didn't see us as white missionaries, they treated us as fellow humans. The family paid for over half the Jeepney rides, made us two meals, and gave us all their plantains from their garden (almost 9 pounds). Even in the distress of losing a child, this family loved unconditionally. They wanted to thank both of us as well as MMC as our passion is to love the poorest of the poor here in Davao. The grandmother took us in as one of her own. “Nanii” (grandmother or elder within the house) is the name in which you give to someone very close and someone who has much wisdom and respect. She has asked us to call her our Nanii. In love she adopted us.
* This morning Wed I woke up to a text message from Nanii Clara, telling us that she loves and hopes all is well... so so sweet!
The grandmother kept thanking us and thanking us that we didn't just come to the Philippines for travel or pleasure, but we wanted to make a difference and that we loved them just as they are. Even in poverty we still love them.
When we finally got back to the dorms at about 9 PM Jenna and I had a little debrief session, which was really amazing, just to discuss what we had seen, what God had shown us.
I've never been so loved before by strangers, I've never been a part of something so special as MMC, I've gotten to see Christ in a whole new way by watching and listening to what people say about MMC.
Today really gave my vision Foma Hope - Hello Hope a new meaning; that God would allow me use midwifery to bring hope to the nations, hope physically to women in need and that I may live alongside women in the cycle of pregnancy and beyond, building relationships in which I may be able to share the hope that I have in Christ.
Thank you again for your prayers.
In Christ,
Heidi
PS: Please pray, Monday is election day and things are a little crazy right now. The grandmother and mother came back with us to Mercy because it wasn't safe on the outskirts of town. Our Jeepney on the way home was searched, at least all the men in the Jeepney were asked to get out and all bags were searched.
Please continue to pray for this family (that the Lord would open a door for Jenna and I to continue to minister to this family), MMC, the staff at MMC, all of us who are 1st and 2nd years.
miss you all so much! Hugs!
Love,
Heidi
This last week has been one a hard week if not the hardest week of my life. At the begining of the week I had my first Monday prenatal since being in Davao, (we are scheduled for one prenatal day (friday) a week for clinic and then 1 monday prenatal clinic a month) which is where the patients come have an interview and then get their first prenatal exam. I was working in bed 6 with Jenna a 2nd year in bed 5, so that if I had any question I could easily talk to her.
So with my limited Cebuano it was hard to communicate, lots of complications, lots of TT1 injections - tetanus, large UTI's, abnormal labs results, young mothers (14-16), malnurished mothers, abnormal heart sounds and the list goes on and on....
* prenatal story* - one patient that I got to do prenatals on had abnormal heart tones and was taking an antibiotics.... with my limited language skills asking about the antibiotic was easy but understanding why was the hard part. Frustrated I asked Jenna to double check heart tones and ask her again why was she taking an antibiotic, because I couldn't understand why, did she go to the doctor, did a neighbor tell her to take them... the possibilities are endless. However it turned out she had gone to the doctor and the doctor had given then to here, for what reason I am not sure. So since I could move on to the next patient because I needed Jenna to look over my her chart, I decided to look over the chart and just talk with her ask simple questions, was she married, did she have a job, so I got to practice my language skills. In the end it ended up being a mix of cebuano and english because she wanted to practice english with me. Her due date is end of December, and by the end of our conversation she asked if I would be at her birth if I was still in Davao and if I could 'catch' her baby. At this point I wasn't assisting, so i couldn't say I could catch, but I could be present at the birth. yay! In the end the fetal heart rate were still really after Jenna checked again high 180's, so we asked her to go eat and drink some water and come back and see if they would come down into normal range . However at the end of prenatal she didn't come back : ( day! However I did reschedule her in Nov, and I have her number so I can text her the morning she is suposed to come back to the clinic. she will be about 33 weeks next time she comes in, I would love if it you could pray for her and that when we check heart rates again they are within normal.
*spider story* Tuesday morning I got to sleep in yay! 11 am for the first time in a long time, and I had nothing to do until 1pm. The house was almost empty (kayla,me, and two other people sleeping in the air con room) a quiet house. So my first thought was make lunch, go out and sit on the balcony and read my Bible for a while. Not the case, as I reached the stair Kayla stated that we had a spider in our laundry room. It wasn't just the little black jumping house spiders, it was this really weird spider and it was eating a cockroach... I would take the cockroach over a spider.. finally Jenna came to save us : ) Since killing it with a flappy flip flop was impossible. Almost two hours later with the help of a bottle of lysol a plastic container and broom (also thanks to Amber who finally killed it) the spider was dead. So much for lunch, it was now 10 min until class, grab a cucumber and go....
The spider and Jenna with a bottle of lysol. The lysol slowed him down enough so we could squash him!* Is Verde Outreach *
Every Other Thursday, we go to Is Verde for prenatal outreach, its along the ocean, on the outskirts of Davao. There is a small muslim people group (really poor) that live in Is Verde in which we give care to, so they don't have to travel all the way to mercy for prenatals. Instead we go to them... and then when they are in labor they make the trip to the clinic.
*Night Shift* Thurday - A VERY LONG DAY! I was on outreach 8-12 in the morning, then classes 1-5. I came onto night shift @ 10pm with a cup of tea and some crackers. I think I only had two hours of sleep two 45 min naps. No labor to endorse, it looked like it could be a slow shift. However around 10:40 a young girl came in very distressed, and in active active. Once she got to the bedside we knew that something was wrong. A high fever, Heart tones for the baby 200-210. not good, not good. the baby was stressed and we couldn't ask question because the mother was in and out because of the fever and she was fully... birth cart ready, gloves on... suction machine ready, towel in hand to wrap the baby... Oxygen given to mother... (This birth was going to be my first assist, what do I do? Just listen to the supervisors) Baby was out at 11:01 and within 10 min baby (archy) was transported to DMC.
When we got back to MMC, we found the mother to be doing better, the fever was down within a couple hours. When she finally started talking didn't even know she was in labor , later on that night she told us she came to get a check up on the baby because of the fever.
Then around 4 am we had another birth assist #2. a beautiful birth and a very sweet BB boy!
6 am, end of night shift! Air Con room @ 6:30am, 5 hours of sleep I was back up again @ 11:30 to talk to Hannah a friend I met at Trinity Western. Then lunch and class at 1.
2 hour nap and then Night shift again! Nothing happened on shift until early morning. I slept for a couple hours, did some home work. 4:30 am, two labors came in. At endorsements we had two labors pushing, so I charted for one and around 6:45 we finally did endorements to the next shift. One of each a baby girl and a baby boy! A great way to end the shift!
7 am sleep time! YAY! It was Saturday so I didn't have class, so I slept a good 7 hours in the air con room. I spent the rest of my Saturday at Yellow Hauz coffee shop working on homework from 3-9pm. With the intentions of taking Sunday afternoon off as my day of rest..
However God had a diffrent plan. Sunday 6 am day shift. Around 6:30 before it got busy, Jenna told me about Archy the baby we transport on Thursday night passed away at DMC, and she wanted to ask if I would accompany her for she was going to go to the patients house to do a postpartum three day check on the mother when we got of shift
So below is my account of what went on....
Heidi McCully’s God Story
LIFE!
Edited by Bill Crepeau
After finding out on shift today that the baby I helped deliver passed away, I wasn't sure what to think. At first I was upset, mad at God, this 18year old mother has been though so much, her boyfriend’s family had taken her in, her first child (a product of incest and rape) was with her mother and they had no contact. I knew right when I heard the news that today wasn't going to be my stay at home and rest day like I had planned. The family asked us if we would come to their home to check on the mother rather than forcing her to travel all the way to the clinic.
So at 3:30 we met the boyfriend’s mother and grandmother and jumped onto the Jeepney (a small jeep, brightly colored and converted into a bus) for two rides to the outskirts of town.
I have to love the Filippino people, they just say what they are thinking.... I became the joke of the evening. First I am learning the Cebuano language (2 months of class so far) and I spoke very little but could understand most of the conversations. Jenna, my partner in the delivery and this adventure, has a full year of Cebuano and knows much more than I. The mother knows English but the grandmother knows very little English. I really don't understand what was so funny about this but it was repeated close to 30 times, almost every time we would go into another room or meet someone along the dirt road. Then the conversation went to “how many languages do you know”, that was fun. I ended up speaking Cebuano when I was asked to say hello in Fulfulde. Foma ended up coming out as “mayoo hapon” or good afternoon. Once again I was the talk of the evening. We were way out on the edge of town and these folks never had an American in their home, or rarely in their area.
In another conversation on the Jeepney I was called "tambook", meaning fat or plump! I can't take offense, it is a complement. The mother was talking with Jenna in Cebuano and I could hear that they were talking about me and again, the word “tambook.” Jenna replied, “gwapa sya” (she is pretty). Then as we changed Jeepney routes and I got out the mother helped me down and then grabbed the side of my shirt and says “sexy!” So odd. Later on in the evening I learned she was saying that when she saw me on night shift last Thursday she was saying I was very plump and fat. However now I looked sexy to her and not as fat - but still plump as an American. They do not see things with our eyes, nor do we see with theirs.
Jenna, that was handling the birth, is from Vancouver Island so we were so excited to see a dirt road, pot holes, mud, gardens, lots of trees, and even a small creek. It was like being in the country after spending every moment here in a crowded city setting. It took about 20 minutes to get to the house. We sat outside the house and greeted the neighbors and family members. Around 4:30 the father of the baby showed up saying that he was drinking to try and forget the pain of losing his first born son. He was really emotional, broken and in tears. Please pray the young mother, and her boyfriend. The boyfriend really opened up to us, however the mother didn't say much. After we did the check upon the mother she began to join our conversations, however, you could plainly see the brokenness in her eyes, and that she was trying so hard not to process what was going on. She was guarding her heart. It was really cool to see God work even in this situation and how he placed Jenna and me to minister to this family.
A really cool note: the boyfriend’s brother’s wife is 7 months pregnant and Jenna and I are taking her as a shared continuity patient, she is due in December. We are going to see her for the first MMC prenatal check-up in the morning! When she gives birth I'll be either catching or assisting : )
* update on this, She couldn't get a prenatal done this last Monday because it was not enough notice and I haven't heard when she is scheduled yet. Hopefully she can get in soon since she is 7 month along.
I felt so blessed today,even though I didn't know what to say, I was scared, I was loved in a way I've never experienced before, I was humbled by the graciousness that this family gave to us. They were so welcoming. They were in poverty yet gave so much, they opened their hearts, their home, they didn't see us as white missionaries, they treated us as fellow humans. The family paid for over half the Jeepney rides, made us two meals, and gave us all their plantains from their garden (almost 9 pounds). Even in the distress of losing a child, this family loved unconditionally. They wanted to thank both of us as well as MMC as our passion is to love the poorest of the poor here in Davao. The grandmother took us in as one of her own. “Nanii” (grandmother or elder within the house) is the name in which you give to someone very close and someone who has much wisdom and respect. She has asked us to call her our Nanii. In love she adopted us.
* This morning Wed I woke up to a text message from Nanii Clara, telling us that she loves and hopes all is well... so so sweet!
The grandmother kept thanking us and thanking us that we didn't just come to the Philippines for travel or pleasure, but we wanted to make a difference and that we loved them just as they are. Even in poverty we still love them.
When we finally got back to the dorms at about 9 PM Jenna and I had a little debrief session, which was really amazing, just to discuss what we had seen, what God had shown us.
I've never been so loved before by strangers, I've never been a part of something so special as MMC, I've gotten to see Christ in a whole new way by watching and listening to what people say about MMC.
Today really gave my vision Foma Hope - Hello Hope a new meaning; that God would allow me use midwifery to bring hope to the nations, hope physically to women in need and that I may live alongside women in the cycle of pregnancy and beyond, building relationships in which I may be able to share the hope that I have in Christ.
Thank you again for your prayers.
In Christ,
Heidi
PS: Please pray, Monday is election day and things are a little crazy right now. The grandmother and mother came back with us to Mercy because it wasn't safe on the outskirts of town. Our Jeepney on the way home was searched, at least all the men in the Jeepney were asked to get out and all bags were searched.
Please continue to pray for this family (that the Lord would open a door for Jenna and I to continue to minister to this family), MMC, the staff at MMC, all of us who are 1st and 2nd years.
miss you all so much! Hugs!
Love,
Heidi
Monday, October 25, 2010
1st time list
As many of you know I've had a really busy week. A very hard week....
Here is a list of the 1st time things that happened this week.
Here is a list of the 1st time things that happened this week.
- got my 1st letter in the mail (from Ester one of my grandmas friends)
- 1st Monday prenatal (1st prenatal/ interview day at the clinic)
- 1st time I've been asked if I would be the one to handle/catch her BB
- 1st time I've seem a spider eat a cockroach
- 1st time I've had a jumping spider crawl all over me
- 1st time I've seen someone make a plan to kill a spider
- 1st time I've seen lysol spilled on a spider to try and kill it/slow it down
- 1st time I've had two night shifts in a row
- 1st time on outreach Is Verde
- 1st assist ( Archy )
- getting news that Archy passed away at DMC : (
- 1st time i've been out in the country side in two months
- this week was the 1st time I've gone out to visit a Philippino family
- 1st time I've had slightly rotten tuna
- 1st time I've been given over 8 lbs of banannas
- 1st time I've been on a jeepney and all the men on board were searched
- 1st time I've been called plump/fat in my scrubsm\ (but I'm sexy in jeans and t-shirt)
- first time I've been called mam Heidi instead of my nickname hidz
- tonight for dinner I had peaches for the 1st time at dinner, peaches and chicken on rice yum!! : )
Well I am off to night shift again...
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Letting Go
Letting go
Gripping arms so tight
The security i have inside
Knowing what is right
Holding onto my cry
I have been brought to a place
Where i want to give up everything
Where all i can do is seek your face
The brokenness i will bring
holding onto the things i deem so strong
Holding on even though i know ive held on
too long
Letting Go
Letting Go
Of the things i hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go
Of the Things i hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go.
This song is also on the Jeremy Camp CD
I find that this song fits what I am about to talk about.
So Monday morning I couldn't fall asleep and when I did I would just go back dreaming.
I've talked about this dream with a couple of the girls after the exam Monday Night.
** I was in a Muslim Country, not sure where exsact. I believe it was a restricted or closed nation. (I think this dream was maybe 3-4 days durations or span of time)
For most of the dream I was kinda just watching (It was weird kinda watching myself). Anyway there was a couple that were the people of peace, or seekers in which I was working with. The women was interested in the Truth, but her husband didn't like her being around me. So I didn't get to see her much. However one day she comes in and says her husband was off doing some type of work where he had to go to the States and he gave her permission to come see me while he was gone.
Anyways so I was talking with her for a while, I was working with some clinic because we would go there together.
Things soon get strange. After she leave, I recieve an e-mail. It was a threat, saying that I needed to be careful, and being a Christian put me in danger.
The next morning I woke up (Sun morning back home) with the urgue to call home and call the church. So I called home to find that someone had blown up the church or some one had taken a gun and went though the church shooting people. (not sure what had really happened. At this point I was really freaked out and I remember waking up. However it did end there I went back to sleep and things just got VERY STRANGE!
I am again watching myself in my dream as the lady whose husband was in the states, came to visit with a picture of her husband in WA and OR. The strange past and frightening part was it was printed off to where I could see the e-mail address. Same address in which the threat was sent. At this point I was trying to keep my composure, and I stated that some things were going on back home and I was really not in the best mood to talk.
In the end the lady's husband came back and the lady became really frustrated and came running into the apartment in which I was living, stating she didn't know about anything about what happened back in the States.
I woke up as her husband coming in braking the door down, I must of been married or something because a guy came out and was speaking with him and I was speaking with the lady.
That is all I remember of the dream....
The last little bit of the dream I was pondering much like I did most of Monday.
What does it mean to be Christ Like?
What does it mean to LOVE?
How would I act if something like that happened? (I could be married, working in a muslim country doing midwifery in like 2-4 years)
Would I trust God like I did in that situation?
In what ways do I need to change?
Looking back at the dream...I really looked back at how I acted, how did I handle the situation (emotionally, spiritually).
It was amazing to see how God works though his people, the power of prayer, the power of God's grace, and his healing. Even though it was a really weird dream.
Gripping arms so tight
The security i have inside
Knowing what is right
Holding onto my cry
I have been brought to a place
Where i want to give up everything
Where all i can do is seek your face
The brokenness i will bring
holding onto the things i deem so strong
Holding on even though i know ive held on
too long
Letting Go
Letting Go
Of the things i hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go
Of the Things i hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go.
This song is also on the Jeremy Camp CD
I find that this song fits what I am about to talk about.
So Monday morning I couldn't fall asleep and when I did I would just go back dreaming.
I've talked about this dream with a couple of the girls after the exam Monday Night.
** I was in a Muslim Country, not sure where exsact. I believe it was a restricted or closed nation. (I think this dream was maybe 3-4 days durations or span of time)
For most of the dream I was kinda just watching (It was weird kinda watching myself). Anyway there was a couple that were the people of peace, or seekers in which I was working with. The women was interested in the Truth, but her husband didn't like her being around me. So I didn't get to see her much. However one day she comes in and says her husband was off doing some type of work where he had to go to the States and he gave her permission to come see me while he was gone.
Anyways so I was talking with her for a while, I was working with some clinic because we would go there together.
Things soon get strange. After she leave, I recieve an e-mail. It was a threat, saying that I needed to be careful, and being a Christian put me in danger.
The next morning I woke up (Sun morning back home) with the urgue to call home and call the church. So I called home to find that someone had blown up the church or some one had taken a gun and went though the church shooting people. (not sure what had really happened. At this point I was really freaked out and I remember waking up. However it did end there I went back to sleep and things just got VERY STRANGE!
I am again watching myself in my dream as the lady whose husband was in the states, came to visit with a picture of her husband in WA and OR. The strange past and frightening part was it was printed off to where I could see the e-mail address. Same address in which the threat was sent. At this point I was trying to keep my composure, and I stated that some things were going on back home and I was really not in the best mood to talk.
In the end the lady's husband came back and the lady became really frustrated and came running into the apartment in which I was living, stating she didn't know about anything about what happened back in the States.
I woke up as her husband coming in braking the door down, I must of been married or something because a guy came out and was speaking with him and I was speaking with the lady.
That is all I remember of the dream....
The last little bit of the dream I was pondering much like I did most of Monday.
What does it mean to be Christ Like?
What does it mean to LOVE?
How would I act if something like that happened? (I could be married, working in a muslim country doing midwifery in like 2-4 years)
Would I trust God like I did in that situation?
In what ways do I need to change?
Looking back at the dream...I really looked back at how I acted, how did I handle the situation (emotionally, spiritually).
It was amazing to see how God works though his people, the power of prayer, the power of God's grace, and his healing. Even though it was a really weird dream.
I know you're calling!
Be the One - Jeremy Camp
And all these dreams I've made
I take them all and lay them down
In light of reasons I have found now
And I can rest in knowing you will open every door
Instead of forcing my own world now
I'd rather wait on you
[Chorus:]
You'll be the one to call me out
I have found that it's the only way
You'll be the one to call me out
I have found that it's the only way
I know that I have plans but you will take me every step
You have covered all my debt now
And I have realized these empty fames that people crave
Are based on hopes of what they've made now
I'd rather wait on you
Well there's more than what I'm feeling
Well there's more than what I'm feeling
Yesterday I went to Kangeroo to meet with Nancy who teaches at Faith here in Davao. I met Nancy and Bernie at the Four Square church last month. I finally worked it out in my schedule so I could go to have coffee one afternoon.
It was so nice to be around something that is older, and someone in whom I could really seek guidance from, with no language barrier : ) .
And all these dreams I've made
I take them all and lay them down
In light of reasons I have found now
And I can rest in knowing you will open every door
Instead of forcing my own world now
I'd rather wait on you
[Chorus:]
You'll be the one to call me out
I have found that it's the only way
You'll be the one to call me out
I have found that it's the only way
I know that I have plans but you will take me every step
You have covered all my debt now
And I have realized these empty fames that people crave
Are based on hopes of what they've made now
I'd rather wait on you
Well there's more than what I'm feeling
Well there's more than what I'm feeling
Yesterday I went to Kangeroo to meet with Nancy who teaches at Faith here in Davao. I met Nancy and Bernie at the Four Square church last month. I finally worked it out in my schedule so I could go to have coffee one afternoon.
It was so nice to be around something that is older, and someone in whom I could really seek guidance from, with no language barrier : ) .
Creation Proclaims His Glory!!!
* This is the first of three post. I didn't want to write one long post.
Last night I was going though my suitcase and I came across a zip drive with music on it! I've been looking for it for 2 years now. Most of you know that I love music and I find that God really speaks though music to me. So that made my night!
The next month is going to be really stressful! With math, medical stats, nutrition self study class, retaking newborn exam, and then clinic and shifts.
Anyways I've been a little down lately, missing home, my family, TFBC, I miss fall and the cool fall nights. I miss not having to have the fan on whenever I am on my bed. A little Overwhelmed by all the work that needs to get done. Little scared that I will be able to assist really soon. If we have two birth Sat morning I will be assisting!
In the midst of all of this God has been so Faithful! Sadly I haven't been much time with the Lord last couple of days. Really since Monday when I had a really vivid dream. (make that 4 posts... I will also post about the dream, I feel I need to get that out as well) So Monday I woke up pondering this dream and really upset because I couldn't get it our of my head. So I spent about an hour reading my bible before my exam which was Monday afternoon. (Tuesday night I had night shift, and that night was when I also found out I didn't get an 80% or better which is the requirement to pass) So I get to retake the test at 6:30 Friday morning.
Tuesday I was kinda upset that I didn't pass and that I kept pondering that dream. However I am now okay with not getting the 80% because I needed to look over the information some more anyways and not passing makes me review the newborn skills and makes me a better midwife in the end.
On Wed we started Math, 5 days a week. Crazy! Being overwhelmed and really unsure what to even do, I thank the Lord for being the one whom keeps me safe. I thank the Lord that he is the one in whom I can do all things.
We had a big thunder storm this morning right after language class. It but me to sleep, :). I haven't slept well since Monday. So I was glad for a two hour nap. After dinner I decided I would go out on the balcony, sit on the railing and just read my bible and listen to a few songs off the zip drive.
I had about an 6-7 songs on a place list... as I was reading I noticed that the storm was across town now. However i could still see the flashes from the balcony. So I turned off the lights and sat up on the balcony for over an hour watching the storm.
below is the song " I know you're calling" by Jeremy Camp.
Jeremy Camp - I know you're calling
A broken image is sometimes what I see
But the hand that made me
Is the hand that won't leave me
You've begun a good work that only has begun
And you always lead me
Will lead me to your son?
Oh, what I want to know everything you are
What I want to see your will for me
And I know you'll show me, yeah
And I know you're calling
And I see your arms stretched wide
And I feel you drawing, drawing me back again
Another day I can spend with you
You turn the pages
Telling me what to do
And when I feel like I want to fall again
You always lead me
Will you lead me to your hand?
Oh, what I want to know everything you are
What I want to see your will for me
And I know you'll show me, I know you'll show me now
And I know you're calling
And I see your arms stretched wide
And I feel you drawing, drawing me back again
And I know I want everything that you want for me
Help me to understand your ways
And I know I want everything that you want for me today
And I know you're calling
And I see your arms stretched wide
And I feel you drawing, drawing me back again, oh yeah
And I know you're calling
And I see your arms stretched wide
And I feel you drawing, drawing me back again, oh yeah
And I know you're calling, I know you're calling now
And I see your arms stretched wide
And I feel you drawing, drawing me back again
Drawing me back again
"drawing me back again" while I was watching the storm, It was like God was writing with a pen across the sky just for me. I've never seen lightning like it before... it was just one thick line across the sky in a very slow manner. It seriously looked like someone was drawing a line in the sky. Every 3-4 min the lightning would stike in that manner instead of branching down they would branch sideways or it would just be one straight line across the sky and the just explode lighting up the whole sky. Even in the midst of the evening traffic i could still hear the sound of the thunder in the distance.
Last night I was going though my suitcase and I came across a zip drive with music on it! I've been looking for it for 2 years now. Most of you know that I love music and I find that God really speaks though music to me. So that made my night!
The next month is going to be really stressful! With math, medical stats, nutrition self study class, retaking newborn exam, and then clinic and shifts.
Anyways I've been a little down lately, missing home, my family, TFBC, I miss fall and the cool fall nights. I miss not having to have the fan on whenever I am on my bed. A little Overwhelmed by all the work that needs to get done. Little scared that I will be able to assist really soon. If we have two birth Sat morning I will be assisting!
In the midst of all of this God has been so Faithful! Sadly I haven't been much time with the Lord last couple of days. Really since Monday when I had a really vivid dream. (make that 4 posts... I will also post about the dream, I feel I need to get that out as well) So Monday I woke up pondering this dream and really upset because I couldn't get it our of my head. So I spent about an hour reading my bible before my exam which was Monday afternoon. (Tuesday night I had night shift, and that night was when I also found out I didn't get an 80% or better which is the requirement to pass) So I get to retake the test at 6:30 Friday morning.
Tuesday I was kinda upset that I didn't pass and that I kept pondering that dream. However I am now okay with not getting the 80% because I needed to look over the information some more anyways and not passing makes me review the newborn skills and makes me a better midwife in the end.
On Wed we started Math, 5 days a week. Crazy! Being overwhelmed and really unsure what to even do, I thank the Lord for being the one whom keeps me safe. I thank the Lord that he is the one in whom I can do all things.
We had a big thunder storm this morning right after language class. It but me to sleep, :). I haven't slept well since Monday. So I was glad for a two hour nap. After dinner I decided I would go out on the balcony, sit on the railing and just read my bible and listen to a few songs off the zip drive.
I had about an 6-7 songs on a place list... as I was reading I noticed that the storm was across town now. However i could still see the flashes from the balcony. So I turned off the lights and sat up on the balcony for over an hour watching the storm.
below is the song " I know you're calling" by Jeremy Camp.
Jeremy Camp - I know you're calling
A broken image is sometimes what I see
But the hand that made me
Is the hand that won't leave me
You've begun a good work that only has begun
And you always lead me
Will lead me to your son?
Oh, what I want to know everything you are
What I want to see your will for me
And I know you'll show me, yeah
And I know you're calling
And I see your arms stretched wide
And I feel you drawing, drawing me back again
Another day I can spend with you
You turn the pages
Telling me what to do
And when I feel like I want to fall again
You always lead me
Will you lead me to your hand?
Oh, what I want to know everything you are
What I want to see your will for me
And I know you'll show me, I know you'll show me now
And I know you're calling
And I see your arms stretched wide
And I feel you drawing, drawing me back again
And I know I want everything that you want for me
Help me to understand your ways
And I know I want everything that you want for me today
And I know you're calling
And I see your arms stretched wide
And I feel you drawing, drawing me back again, oh yeah
And I know you're calling
And I see your arms stretched wide
And I feel you drawing, drawing me back again, oh yeah
And I know you're calling, I know you're calling now
And I see your arms stretched wide
And I feel you drawing, drawing me back again
Drawing me back again
"drawing me back again" while I was watching the storm, It was like God was writing with a pen across the sky just for me. I've never seen lightning like it before... it was just one thick line across the sky in a very slow manner. It seriously looked like someone was drawing a line in the sky. Every 3-4 min the lightning would stike in that manner instead of branching down they would branch sideways or it would just be one straight line across the sky and the just explode lighting up the whole sky. Even in the midst of the evening traffic i could still hear the sound of the thunder in the distance.
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