Thursday, October 14, 2010

Letting Go

Letting go

Gripping arms so tight
The security i have inside
Knowing what is right
Holding onto my cry

I have been brought to a place
Where i want to give up everything
Where all i can do is seek your face
The brokenness i will bring

holding onto the things i deem so strong
Holding on even though i know ive held on
too long

Letting Go
Letting Go
Of the things i hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go
Of the Things i hold so dear
Letting Go
Of all my pain and all my fears
Of all my pain and all my fears
Letting Go.

This song is also on the Jeremy Camp CD

I find that this song fits what I am about to talk about.

So Monday morning I couldn't fall asleep and when I did I would just go back dreaming.

I've talked about this dream with a couple of the girls after the exam Monday Night.

** I was in a Muslim Country, not sure where exsact. I believe it was a restricted or closed nation. (I think this dream was maybe 3-4 days durations or span of time)

For most of the dream I was kinda just watching (It was weird kinda watching myself). Anyway there was a couple that were the people of peace, or seekers in which I was working with. The women was interested in the Truth, but her husband didn't like her being around me. So I didn't get to see her much. However one day she comes in and says her husband was off doing some type of work where he had to go to the States and he gave her permission to come see me while he was gone.

Anyways so I was talking with her for a while, I was working with some clinic because we would go there together.

Things soon get strange. After she leave, I recieve an e-mail. It was a threat, saying that I needed to be careful, and being a Christian put me in danger.

The next morning I woke up (Sun morning back home) with the urgue to call home and call the church. So I called home to find that someone had blown up the church or some one had taken a gun and went though the church shooting people. (not sure what had really happened. At this point I was really freaked out and I remember waking up. However it did end there I went back to sleep and things just got VERY STRANGE!

I am again watching myself in my dream as the lady whose husband was in the states, came to visit with a picture of her husband in WA and OR. The strange past and frightening part was it was printed off to where I could see the e-mail address. Same address in which the threat was sent. At this point I was trying to keep my composure, and I stated that some things were going on back home and I was really not in the best mood to talk.

In the end the lady's husband came back and the lady became really frustrated and came running into the apartment in which I was living, stating she didn't know about anything about what happened back in the States.

I woke up as her husband coming in braking the door down, I must of been married or something because a guy came out and was speaking with him and I was speaking with the lady.

That is all I remember of the dream....

The last little bit of the dream I was pondering much like I did most of Monday.

What does it mean to be Christ Like?

What does it mean to LOVE?

How would I act if something like that happened? (I could be married, working in a muslim country doing midwifery in like 2-4 years)

Would I trust God like I did in that situation?

In what ways do I need to change?

Looking back at the dream...I really looked back at how I acted, how did I handle the situation (emotionally, spiritually).

It was amazing to see how God works though his people, the power of prayer, the power of God's grace, and his healing. Even though it was a really weird dream.

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