Monday, January 31, 2011

mi wala sembe ama....


I am weak but I can do all things though Christ who gives me strength... mi wala sembe...( I am weak) the first line of my tatoo that is on my foot. A reminder that Its in the strength of Christ that I stand...

How can I keep from singing his praise... How could I ever say enough... His love is so deep, so wide... unconditional... oh we don't even have the words to say it... even with all the langauges in the world... nothing compares... nothing can describe... Its one of the reasons why I love languages. In Creation we see God's love and amazing

May everything I do and say give glory to the Lamb... the Lamb that was slain...

Promises of a lifetime.... kutless

I have fallen to my knees
As I sing a lullaby of pain
I'm feeling broken in my melody
As I sing to help the tears go away

Then I remember the pledge you made to me

I know you're always there
To hear my every prayer inside
I'm clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime

Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change

I still remember the pledge you made to me

I am holding on to the hope I have inside
With you I will stay through every day
Putting my understanding aside

And I am comforted

Looking back at me I know that you can see my heart is open to the promise of a lifetime.

I can say that I've asked God so many times may this song be my prayer... each situation is diffrent, yet his truth remains... I can cling to his promises... His word is true... and I can trust in His Word!

the good and the bad... in the life of a midwife

I've come to find that in my desire to work among women, and be a midwife, its a lifestyle. A lifestyle that is so diffrent, it stands alone in so many areas.

To serve women as a midwife is so amazing, yet its not easy. Its can be wonderful, a miracle, and the next moment it can shatter, the hope of life gone.

Yesterday on shift within a half hour I saw how sudden life change, how fast it can change. Sadly we lost a baby yesterday. The mother had lost her last two babies at about 20 weeks, and this was her first baby that she carried to term... we were transporting anyways due to lack of progress, however just as final vital were being done before transport, the heart tones disappeared. The baby was gone... a baby girl... stillborn via c-section at the local hospital.

This morning I had clinic and did prenatals... Interview Monday... 'welcome to mmc' ... yet we sent at least three patients to get ultrasounds, and or to the doctor... because of no heart tones, no movement or signs of miscarriage...

In the midst of a crazy week, I wasn't sure how to deal with another event like this, yet God is faithful. Yesterday After shift I spent the afternoon finishing up my assignment to keep my mind busy, for I didn't want to deal with the last couple events.

It had been three weeks since I was last at the church. With night/ day shifts on sat/sun I wasn't able to make it to any of the services. I was looking forward to it all week. Yet after day shift I wasn't so sure. However God is the one who restores... the message was on being a leader... being a servent.... on how God is Good and He is faithful...

How is God good... How is he faithful..... premature delivery ....a mother carries a baby to term, only to lose the baby in labor... having prenatal patient come in to find no heart tones... to see young teens 13/14 pregnant... rape...incest... the list could go on...

To sit upon my knees and lay my life before my King... Its all I could do... to cry and sit and wait upon the Lord... To be in his presence, to sing his praises... in midst of the trials in the midst of hardship. To seek is understanding and wisdom...

I've learned so much, seen so much, I'm learning to live in his presense, to give my heart daily to Jesus. I am weak, but He is Strong..... I can't do it alone...I've cried... I've thought of giving up... A few nights ago I couldn't see myself going though another hardship, yet Jesus took my hand... Don't be afraid... I am here... I am with you... serve these women my child... let me live in you dear Heidi...

In Him I walk, In I live. I've learned to seek the Lord, to keep my eyes focused on Jesus... He is good, He is the one who provides... He is the one who gives strength... He is our hope. He is our God!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Hello Hope...

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
(Romans 15:13 ESV)

Foma Hope....

Hello Hope...

Where does my help come from... It comes from the King of Kings, the Lord of Lord, the Lord who made heaven and earth....

Foma- (hello) new life, a life in Christ...

8:1-2 message

The Solution Is Life on God's Terms

With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

I don't read the message very often, however this translation of 8:1-2 has had such an impact on my life. For so much of my life I was living in the low-lying black cloud. I love the picture that this verse gives of the freeing power of Christ!

(Colossians 1:11-14 ESV)

[11 ] May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, [12 ] giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. [13 ] He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, [14 ] in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

When you look at the picture above.. what do you think, does the baby stand out, is it her little hand?, the feet and the markings, or even maybe the cup?

For most of you who know me, you know this picture is dear to my heart, its a picture that has changed my life. The little girl in the photo changed my world. This baby girl is the reason why I am in Davao, why I wanted to be a midwife.

Her name is Hope (the english name in which we gave her.) I don't even know if she is alive today. In the picture she is maybe 1.5kg, and 6-8 weeks old. Her mother died of infection/ PPH - postpartum hemorrhage weeks (3-4 weeks before the picture) before this picture was taken. The last update was the last time I saw her and she was 5 months old. That was right before I got on the plane to fly home in Dec, 2008.

Its a story that happens all the time and yet isn't talked about. It doesn't just happen in Niger. It happens all over the world. Niger has one of the highest infant and maternal mortality rates of any nation. Yet it isn't talked about. It was not until I got back home and I did my own research, and noticed that Hope wasn't a random story, its repeated over and over again.

Will I got back to Niger after my time in Philippines, I don't know, I would love to go visit and maybe deliver a baby in Ly On Kara and spend a few days with my African Family. Lord willing.

As of right now I don't think I will in Niger full time but I pray that I could go to visit or maybe teach or train national health care workers for a while. I will always fill like Ly On Kara is my home away from home.

When i think of the vision that God gave of training nationals in women health care, I will think of Niger, of Hope.... Foma-Hope... the desire to see lives changed, to see a new out pouring of God's Spirit.

A Hazy Dream

I can't really but to words everything that has happened the last two days. I know a few of you know the story. So I will just share a tiny portion of what has happened.

Last thursday I found out I had to teach fetal development on Friday, so I used a powerpoint outline to study from as i prepared for Friday. Friday morning I made some corrrection to my outline and then went over for prenatals. When I got over to the clinic I couldn't find my outline, it has disappeared. So I went with what I knew from A&P fetal development class last year, and did the presention. Taking a college level fetal development class and turning it into a 15 min health teaching for 40 buntis (pregnant ladies) isn't easy, to keep it short and simple.

I would love to just sit down over some coffee of tea with someone and share how awesome the miricle of life and birth is. How great is our God... I can't say enough.... The changes that happen are a testimony of Psalms 139.. He knit us in our mothers womb....

I've been so streached so thin this week... I've been sick, I've had traumatic birth, yet I've had amazing fellowship and I've grown closer to the Lord though it all.

Friday afternoon I went to kangeroo coffee shop, and within an hour I had to go home because I wasn't feeling well again. Soon I was running a fever and I knew I needed to go home and sleep. Even though I had lots to do, I knew I couldn't study and retain information needed. So I slept from 3 until 6. I was woke up to Beth another housemate telling me I had a cont. I was so confused, at first I thought it was a dream. I got down and prepared to go the clinic... or so I thought in my dream until the lights come on in my room and my roomate throws me scrubs... its not a dream... I am a cont, preterm fully and pushing at the clinic.... Then it hit me, this wasn't going to be a normal birth, I only had two conts over 30 weeks. one at 33 or 34 and one at 36, and I knew it wasn't Lhea because she would of sent a text.

I get to the clinic and am still not yet awake, unsure if my fever was gone, and quite uneasy because I knew it had to my cont that was 34 weeks. I get in as they prepare transport paper and the baby's head is visible, so its decided we will let her deliver just in case she delivers of the way to the hospital. We have more room, more hands and we can transport the baby within a few min of birth if it doesn't look good. The baby is born within 20 mins, small but great cry and muscle tone. Praise the Lord. Yet the mother wasn't doing well. 2 IV given, uterine stimulant and her uterus is contracted but she is still bleeding. So we transport within 30 min after birth both mother and baby... I am back within an hour, shaken, still quite hazy to what went on.

This morning I spent my morning in the Word, and trying to take some time to process everything, finally I made my way to clinic and got the paper work for my cont to sign, birth certificate and such, and made my way to the gov hospital. Sadly I spent 45 min and couldn't find any information on her or the baby. It looks like she may of been discharged, I will going again Sunday afternoon to check again. If she isn't at the hospital I am going to try and find her house, and visit her.

Please continue to pray for her and her baby. Pray that I can get in contact with her, some way some how. At the hospital at mercy, or at her house.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Things I never thought I would do...

So today it hit me while I was on a motor to kangeroo to go study..... I have done a lot of things that I thought I would never do.

  • Ride a motor...
  • Ride a motor sideways
  • Wear leggings
  • be freezing cold at 75
  • wearing sweat or leggings and a long sleeve shirt in 85 degrees
  • crave a BLT sandwich... sometimes its the only reason I go to kangeroo... I never ate them back home... so yes I am eating one now : )
  • I would never stand up and do a health teaching without an outline
  • make homemade veggie soup w/okra and eggplant
  • make homemade angel food cake
  • cook with rice flour... rice flour crepes
  • ride a motorbike in skirt and legging sideways with 30lb of books on my back
  • live in a city of 4 million... its the 8th largest city in land area
  • pay to go to see bats ... magfort bat caves largest bat population in the world... 1.8 million.. its on samal island so about 40 min away.
  • deliver babies ( if you would asked me two years ago... my response would of been... you must be joking)... how time changes... now I love it!
  • pay $25 and make homemade potato/bacon/cheese soup... so yummy but in the end it cost me the same as going out for the weekend maybe a little more. : (

life unexpected...or should I say expected

So I had three dreams last night about my fetal development powperpoint health teaching and also my fetal development assignment. Each dream was a little diffrent, each time I had to redo a portion of my presention because something didn't work, a slide was missing, someone wasn't getting the material, the whole thing was gone. However God walked me though it all. In the midst of the crazy mess I walked upon his grace and let him lead the way.

I didn't really think about my dreams until this morning when I opened the powerpoint before clinic to review the material. I had to laugh at one point because it wasn't lost and everything was going to be short and simple. HAHAHA!... That was at 7:30...

We meet at 7:45 for devotional at the clinic, so I put my computer in its case and put it under my prenatal bed, so I could easily grab it and go over and do the health teaching. So after worship and devotions I opened my computer and guess what!??? NO POWERPOINT!! It disappeared, the cd disk was blank...

So Ate Susan finishes with devotions with the buntis ladies and comes over and ask who is on prenatals.... So I went though my documents again and wala (no) PP... Ate Susan offered to do it for me, however I declined and said I could still do it. (for those that know me well I don't speak in front of people a lot and would always back down in situations like that).... However God had another plan... So I took a notebook which had simple month by month details of pregnancy and went on with the fetal development health teaching.

Step by step month by month I explained how the baby comes to be in the womb. Its something I love to speak of... Its something that I think about a lot as I see buntis ladies at diffrent stages... Her baby is this big..... her baby is begining to do this or that,..... her baby is just learning to do this....

The gift of life...

thanks be to God from whom all blessing flow.... His grace is enough

May the God of hope fill you with all peace and joy in believing though the Holy Spirit may you abound in hope...

Life... a Gift from God

As I prepare for fetal health teaching... I've come to realize that fetal development is something that I am passionate about.... the miracle of life... the miracle of birth... Its so amazing... words can't describe it.

To be able to share the cycle of birth, the begining of the process as the soon to be baby implants and makes its home in the mother uterus. To how the organs form... most of it is done even before most women know they are pregnant.

Within the first eight weeks so much goes on... by week 3 the heart begin to beat though a narrow tube that will soon twist and turn to become what we know to be the heart...All along it continues to beat and supply its tiny body with nutrients.

To see how God gave his son as a payment for our sins. In love he gave everything. I've come to see that picture of Gods love even in the developing fetus.... In situations where the mother doesn't get or isn't getting enough nutrients, her body will give everything to the baby because it becomes the first priority. The mother will take all the reserve energy and or nutrients stored up in her body and give it in hopes of new life for her child....

How much bigger is the love of God....

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Foma Hope

Foma Hope.... Hello Hope

May the God of hope fill you with all peace and joy in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13

Hello Hope...
  • health care.... to provide basic health care
  • training train national midwives and health care workers

Hello Hope...

  • empower national
  • personal witness building up believers
  • sharing the Love of Christ

Sometime in the next month I will be attending a couple classes on church planting and also clinic in a box, which is were will discuss how midwifery and missions comes together, and how to start or begin a health clinic within another country.

Last week I got to sit in on a church planting series...

Empower nationals (not foreigners)
Pray passionately (and often)
Evangelize immediately (not next week/month/year)
Focus on trusted family and friends (not the masses)
Keep Bible foundational (worker ≠ authority)
Expect obedience (and inspect what you expect)
Plant churches intentionally (this is not optional)

I am still pondering how midwifery plays a part in this. However I am excited to see what God is going to do!!

A new prespective

So its been a month since Christmas break, I am back working on assignments, catching babies and getting back into the routine of things here in Davao.

However it all seems just a little diffrent in a good way. Every day I find that God is opening my eyes to something new, something better, its refreshing, challenging, awakening. Every day His mercy flows, his grace covers me.

My last couple blogs I talked about " I dare to Call him father" and it has challenged me and had broken my heart to pieces. In the midst of the busy life here in Davao, the clinic, midwifery studies, God has opened my eyes to things unseen. I've come to terms with my past, my testimony and I've come to see God's hand as he provided my needs, protected me thoughout my childhood. I've come to learn that my childhood wasn't normal, its wasn't easy, it was quite the opposite.

So much of life was filled with manipulation, abuse, and misinterpreted truth, that all I have is Gods promises of his love, his truth. May by his grace can I relearn how to view life, love people and walk in his steps. I am so thankful for his faithfulness. I can't do it alone, I can't function without Him.

I am not the same, I don't even remember who I was five months ago. I wasn't open about my past, I wasn't open to new idea, I was terrified of change. I wanted to do things for God, yet I didn't want to let go of the hurt, the pain that was once held up inside. Its a process that will take a lot of time, by God's grace by his healing I can move on.

I'll update later on how God is showing more and more on foma hope and the idea of using midwifery and reaching out to Muslims... in health care and church planting

I want to say thank you Linda Thomas in encouraging me to continue on taking time to journal and blog about my experiences and be honest on what God is teaching me. Its been a huge blessing!!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Lets dance...

So as of this morning my last baby was on Thursday day shift, and it was quite the experience.... getting pinned to the bed, as the mother pushed the head out. I wish I could of had it on film... or at least my expression as head was coming out... not the birth itself, but my reaction as i tried to get the mother to sit up a tiny bit so I could get up and put on gloves and catch the baby!

It has become the highlight of the week for the orange house, who can reenact the scence the best, or who can tell the story the best!

I was expecting to go onto shift and rest, maybe read a little from the word, or work on my assignment. However I was first up even though I had caught a baby five day before. So a labor came in at 3:30pm. My Patient Janice was 41 5/7 and had EPO done at 11am this morning. So after checking her I put her name on the board and she was admitted to MMC. 6-7cm, strong contractions and a super great attitude about labor and delivery. So after having her fill out the paper work I got to meet her husband and her 4 year old daughter.

As her labor progressed she became active, and was doing pelvic rocking and diffrent exercises to help the baby decend into the pelvis. I fell in love with this family as i watched them interact. Her daughter would stand up with her mom and dance as her mom had a contraction or was doing the pelvic rocking. Cute so so Cute!

Around 7pm they came inside the birthroom and the daughter started to color and her mom moved into the transition phase of labor. However her daughter soon got tired of trying to color and began to dance again but this time she asked me to join. So soon all four of us (from 8-8:30)... my patient, her husband, daughter and I were all pelvic rocking back and forth... an amazing moment!!

I can't believe I'm now in the double digits
(#10) in my number of deliverys/handles... @ 9:40 pm Janice gave birth to a baby girl!
Her 4th baby! yay! congrats!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

so what do you do??

So my last birth... thursday morning... Lets call her E, she came in at 8 am, reported bow rupture at 2 am and so with MMC policy she was to be transported by 2pm with the 12 hour bow rupture policy.

She came in with a stimulant oil on her tummy, so she was having hard irregular contractions. Many patients come with it on, and or use snake oil... It doesn't help dialate the cervix, its just cause the uterus to contract and is cause very painful contractions. The snake oil smells disgusting and then others are smell like sweet mint, most of the time you can smell it as they come into the door. So she washed it off and i monitored her contractions.

It was decided that she was only going to stay if she was 4 cm or more upon an IE. She was 6 cm. E kept wanting to lay down on the bed, however the supervisior was very adament that she stand up or at least sit up. Plus it made me be more assertive with her. Her labor wouldn't progress with her on the bed, so I got her to sit up. However it took another student and myself to keep her up. Though contractions she would lean forward of backwards on us. While getting heart tones it was much easier to get them if I was sitting behind her keeping her up and she liked to raise her hands and grip my shoulders and/or neck during a contraction and I knew the other student was uncomfortable... however it soon became the worse position. She progressed super fast!!!

* 8 am admitted and baby out at 8:43 am....

She was progressing but didn't show any signs of being pushy, her contractions were starting to slow down and become regular once the oil was washed off. she was resting though contractions was breathing well though them. However I didn't have anything no birth cart or nothing, I was going to redo vitals at 8:40 and get everything ready just in case she gave birth and delivered before 2. However at 8:40 she grabs me by the neck and leans back, grabs the top of the bed and I am now trapped under her though the contraction and the Fil student is saying head, head... Oh No I am trapped under her, I yell head vis... and couldn't complete the phrase before head out... so I change the phrase to yell head out and I get her to move her arm.. try to grab gloves out of my pocket and everyone else on shift brings in the cart and I pull the baby out. Super fast progression!! no tear and a super cute bb girl.

later on that shift another bb out similar way except 6 cm and 20 min later head out with the rupture of membranes, another case of fumbling on gloves and staring at the clock... that was fast!

Sometimes is fast births, sometimes its in a taxi, jeepney, and so many other ways. Each women is diffrent, each women is loved by God, each women has her own need.

Even this morning coming off night shift, a patient came in with little pain, because her bana, (husband) had all the labor pains, he was walking around rubbing his back, his stomach, it was their 5th baby and with each one she didn't have much pain except pushing the baby out. You could palpate contracts but she wouldn't flinch. Her husband would get the labor pains, sl at first and increase and then he would say oh baby will be here soon and maybe 5-10 min later baby out. I've heard of such things but never saw it until this morning!

Always something new

This is going just be a fun post....

I am amazed at how many little things I've learned since coming her... not all dealing with midwifery.

  • I learned that you can put 3-5 people on a motor.
  • I've learned how to text crazy! I hated it when I was home, but with conts and people wanting to change shifts I have to have it with me 24/7.
  • nothing is normal here, something can always change
  • Today I took a motor to a coffee shop with Ashton ( 2 girls + close to 40-50lb with our bags... computer, books) I was in the middle and the guy had my bag in front of him and I held it up with my hands as her drove. Then Ashton had her bag one her back. Crazy!!
  • I've learned to double check eggs and if they shake its not a good sign... I had three rotten eggs last week... worst smell ever!! especially after night shift 6 am...eggs and toast sounds good, but after nasty grey nasty stuff comes out no thanks!
  • I've learned how to cook (from scratch no box cooking for me)
  • angel food cake (yum yum!)
  • homemade chicken broth
  • homemade potato/bacon soup
  • tortilas
  • I may get a lesson on how to make yogurt soon!
  • chicken soup
  • chicken & rice
  • spanish rice
  • beer batter fish
  • pumpkin pie
  • homemade pies
  • homemade puddings
  • homemade bread
  • pretzels
  • fried rice
  • choco bannana bread
  • sour cream

It seems like I am always finding something new to try, I go into the kitchen and see what we have and then get to baking... yesterday day it was tortilla with cheese and bacon, sour cream and avacado. yum yum!!

On to midwifery.... on the next post... just say I was in the wrong place and couldn't get out.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

To live in His Glory

So if you've read my last post, you know I was in the middle of reading " A Dare to Call Him Father" a Pakistani women and her encounter with God.

This past week I've been extremely busy, 4 night shift and a day shift. Couple skype dates, meeting with conts, classes and assignment.

As I finished Sunday I was tired, yet at peace as God had meet me, meet me in my weakness. Yet I knew what was next. I knew the question.... What are you going to do about this?

In Midst of my failures God is with me. In the hardships he is with me. In my weakness He is my strength. So I spent the next two days reflecting, praying though the hurt, failures, and pain that was in the way of God working. Slowly God was lifting the veil, and I knew he was with me. I knew he was in control. Praise the Lord!!!

Monday afternoon I sat on my bed reading Ephesians straight though. Jesus our Prince of Peace, in his grace can we hope. The book came alive, it awake my heart, soften my heart as I seemed to float away in his peace.

Soon I found myself wanting to finish the book that I had started on Sunday, however God kept saying wait and read it on Sunday and Tues during Night Shift. So I was obedient and again he meet me last night on night shift.

Again in another strange way. I was last up, since I had caught a baby only 32 hours before. I was expecting to have a postpartum patient to check thoughout the night, however the supervisor was taking the patient. So the two other girls got the two labors at endorements and I didn't have anything to do.

For the month of Jan the clinic is having a few 2nd year Philipina students shadow at the clinic. So last night we had 3 students.

So I helped stock the clinic up and then sat down on the bench to pray and relax while I could. Soon I found myself picking up the book again and I finished the book within an hour. As I finished I found myself almost in tears. For as I finished he said look up and you will find those who you are called to, on the other bench was one of the shadowing Philipina students a young muslim girl sitting across from me.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the holy spirit you may about in hop. Romans 15:13

With what seemed like hours it finally hit midnight, I had only been on shift for two hours. Soon a labor came in, and I was working vitals. Things seemed normal however I soon noticed that she had no Heb screening, so I was off to the hospital. In a rush the patient was thrown out, I know that seems weird yet because she hadn't taken gone to the doctor refused prenatals and didn't get the Heb screening, she deliberately had made the statement that she didn't care what happened to her or the baby. Again God was touching my heart though this women. I was again but in a place where I felt uncomfortable, unsure of what was to happen. So I was given the transport papers and I tried to fill them out as we went to the hospital. That God for the midwifery student that was shadowing me, because she kept the patient calm and talked her though breathing and other things as I needed to finish paper work.

As we made it to the hospital I soon was overwhelmed, I was unsure of what to even say to the doctor except what I knew because I had just met the women maybe five minutes ago. With close to 30 patients in the OR emerg I passed on the paperwork, the wavier and soon found the person with the record has disappeared and I as back to Mercy.

However as I got to Mercy I reliezed I needed the original copies of the prenatal that were at the hospital. So I was again back on my way to the hospital with another midwife and another patient. In the end we got the paperwork back, but it was again a strange night. A wonderful night of being with the Lord, yet a night of hardship. Yet again he is Faithful.

So I again was back laying down on the bench reading my bible and journal, until at 3:30 when we had a birth. #49, It seems weird to say that I've gotten to see 49 babies come into this world. Within the world of birth life and death is so near, its a new reality, a reality that I saw in Africa, the reality that many women have no one to care for their needs in pregancy. In the hardships I've come to find God, I've come to find the only way to live is in his Glory.

I Dare Call HIM Father...

A loving father, a loving family. Doesn't everyone dream of what could be... or should I say should be.

What is your ideal picture of a father, of a family?? How does the family function?

The influences of childhood make the foundation of everything. From they way a person views family, how they recieve and exchange ideas, gifts, and even relationships.

I dare call him father.... Do I dare call God my father...

Growing up with an absent/abusive father, my idea of a father is stained, yet God calls us to view him as a father. As a father loves his kids. The stained idea of love... if your not good enough I won't love you, .... if you do this i will do this.... Do this because I love you, yet its in fear of rejection, fear of death, the uncertain outcomes.

Romans 12 1-3

I appeal to you therefore, brothers,1 by the mercies of God, to present your bodies bas a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Its been a struggle that I've had for a while. Yet I never really understood what the struggle was until Sunday night during night shift I picked up " I Dare to Call Him Father" a book written by a Pakistani Muslim women and her encounter with God...

I found myself living the word of the book, watching her as God met her in dreams. As she knelt down to pray with her Quran and the old Bible she deperately cried out to God in confusion because she grew up within a Muslim society yet, she had experienced something new, something alive though the Word of God the Bible. As she poured her heart out before the Lord he met her and his response to her question was which book did you come to find me as Father. Which book did you find the spirit that set your free?

The answer was right before me, God was asking me the same question, he was wanting to show me his love, his love the love of the Father. Its something new, something I've never experienced. He was asking me to forgive and forget the hurts, the harsh words, from my earthly father and let him be the Father of my heart and change my heart to beat like his.

I couldn't finish the book, since my patient was getting active, so placed a book mark in the book and went to check on my patient. As I walked into the birthroom, I saw she was on her knees praying. As I knelt down beside her I couldn't help but find myself humming the song " I have a maker"... He know my name, He know my every thought.... and sees each tear that falls.

Within a half hour little MJ was born, 7lb 11 oz at 2:22am. It was a sweet birth, yet God continued to stir up my heart, to let go of all things I knew and lay them at his feet. Though out the birth I couldn't speak on word of Cebuano. I tried and nothing wouldn't come, the more I tried the more frusterated and more distant I became to everyone in the room. Yet I cried out to God, he didn't answer in the way I wanted. Yet he did answer He was showing me that this is what happen when you quinch the Holy Spirit. I had become distant, even though I was trying I wasn't getting anywhere, I understood everything but it wasn't prosperious.

I learned a lot Sunday, I learned a lot in midwifery, a lot about myself, what I am, who I am , and that God calls me his Child. I am a Child of the King, he is asking his people to call out to him as a Father. I knew that God wasn't finished... yet I wasn't prepared for what was to come...

Monday, January 10, 2011


Thanks your prayers and support... I can't believe its been five months since leaving Portland.

I would like to update everyone on what my life at Mercy is like and ask for prayer.

Mercy in general, and also Outland and their ministry with the ropes course and youth programs

prayers for all the staff at mercy

For those that are about to finish at Mercy to leave in July

Our support is due in a couple weeks


Samal- 1x a month (sat) a few mercy girls go to the foursquare gospel church on Samal and do prenatals (i attend the foursquare church in davao)
Isla Verde - Badjao patients, many of them are muslims, they speak a different dialect, very poor, they live out over the water 2x a month (thurs)
adgao (thurs) 2x a month
talikala ( see below for more info) (wed)

outreaches to the bukid (mon-friday) starting in Tagpopoot and going up into the mountian in the Davao Del North province (prenatals, health teachings)

The church that I am attending her in Davao
Davao Foursquare church

the ministries that are going on at the church
compassion international program
young adults and children programs

I may also start attending a Muslim Background Church in the Sasa area of Davao. (so I will attend that church when am not working day shift on sundays and then attend the foursquare church in the evening or the sat night service) A few missionaries in Davao have come to Mercy to shadow and help with health teachings. One of the missionaries is N she works with the Muslim population in the city. She is currently in Thailand. The pastor of the church is an american, his wife came from a muslim background. All the other memembers grew up within the Muslim community but came to Christ. I love just sitting down with her and just hearing all the stories of how God is calling Muslims to himself. The vision, dreams, the passion that they have is so amazing. They lose everything when they make that commitment to leave Islam and follow Christ. In some parts of the island a person who turns to Christ can be killed and the one who kills the new believer gets 1000 peso (its about $23 US). Its not just here in the Philippines but so many other areas.

The IMB missionaries that work here in Davao are coming back from time stateside in a couple of weeks. I'm excited to meet them, and get to know them as well. I've been in contact with them for the last year, asking about Davao and the work that the IMB does here.

I am finally back working on assignments, currently interpartum, so labor and delivery, working four shifts a week and every other week I have prenatal outreach,

  • I'm once again taking Cebuano Classes twice a week.

    The requirement for our Cebuano class is to be able to do prenatals all in Cebuano, share the gosel, prepare and teach labor and delivery health teaching, and share our testimony

    please pray that the language would come easily, we have until may to do everything listed above

  • With each assignment and exam taken though the USA midwifery board we have to pass with at least an 80%, i would love prayer that I would be able to manage my time wisely and be able to finish my assignment in proper timing so I can use the assignment as a study guide and not be stressed trying to finish an assignment before taking an exam.
  • starting the 23rd i ( 1st and 2nd years) will be taking microbio, ( short but busy 2 week course only 4 classes) along with the next midwifery subject
    sometime in Feb we will be starting a series on Chruch planting and also how to start and manage a maternity clinc within other countries. : ) ( I am super excited to start this series of classes)
  • I already have A&P course taken at CC last year, which is so so nice, a huge relief!!! but please lift up the other 1st and 2nd years that haven't taken the course (1-2 months long) because they start that class along with micro ( so they will have two classes plus a midwifery assignment, and the church planting class)

    Within the last month I've taken countinuity patients.... So I am their primary midwife doing prenatals and also though delievery and postpartum.

  • The first cont I took is due in June, very sweet girl, I ended up taking her as a cont after prenatals one day, for when I asked if i could pray with her. She at first refused and walked away but then turned around and started crying because didn't know how to respond because no one had ever asked her if she needed prayer before.
  • Muslim lady having her 2nd baby due in May, Please pray for wisdom as I get to know her, and speak with her. She is really stressed right now, family issues, she texted me saying that she was super stressed but didn't say much more than that.

  • Next cont is having her first baby end of Feb. At first it seemed like a normal prenatal however I noticed by her interview she was Muslim, most of the time when I see Muslim women come into Mercy I like to greet them in Arabic and just give a warm welcome. She didn't repond to the greeting very well. She look at me like I was crazy, she kept saying you not muslim, how do u know that greeting and replied she wasn'tMuslim, I'm a Christian. Its a weird way to break the barrier and start a friendship but God know what is best.

    I know I spent at least an hour with her that day, going over nutrition, health, she began to open up all because of saying one phrase. Anyways, right after high school she went off to bible college and then came home and married a Muslim Man. So please pray for her bana (husband) from what she has told me he is protective, he won't let her go to church. She is so desperate for fellowship, she is so aware of everything around her. Please pray for wisdom as I spend time with her, use wisdom in texting her. Her husband is supportive of me being the primary midwife for her. Yay thank you Jesus!

  • I have a cont is due anyday she is almost 41 weeks, she came into mercy at 37 weeks and asked me to be her midwife because she didn't want to go into the birthroom without knowing someone. So I did.

  • I know very little about her except that she is 17 and a single mom, i did her first prenatal in nov and she was rescheduled for fridays, and I am on the prenatal friday team. So I took her as a cont after talking to my super.. She is really really shy,but very aware of what is going on, and she is unsure if she wants to keep the baby. I know God can break down the language barrier and my prayer she would be able to be open with me. I can see that she wants to talk, but she doesn't know who to trust.

    I would like to invite people to pray for a new ministry (prenatal outreach) that has started though mercy. Every Weds a few girls from Mercy work with Talikala

    They are getting involved in an organization here called Talikala that "offers support, advice, training, and counseling to women and girls who have been forced into the sex trade here in Davao.

    - please pray for wisdom as some of the staff works with these women.

    Its been such a blessing to be apart of Mercy, to be apart of something that is of God. His heart for the nations, His love for people is neverending, He wants the whole world to see Who He Is. I've come to love each of the girls here at mercy, each person has a story to tell, each person has a ideas, visions, and dreams of being a midwife and impacting the world. Other girls that came to mercy are working in places such as Afganistian, India, Sudan, the States, Philippines, China, Thialand, and so many other places. Some want to work with the abused, those that find themselves in the sex trade, some want to work among the poor, in the slums, inner city, other in rural area, some in the high mountains,other want to go where no one has gone before, the unengaged ( no know witness or christians within that certain area), the unreached ( less than 2% of the population is Christian), some want to go back to their hometowns, others with the tribal groups, some with native americans, some with Muslims, others want to work with those that are Hindu. Yet we all have midwifery in common, we are all here at Mercy, we are in the Philippines where God has called us to go, to be together, to pray, to guide each other, to encourage each other, to build friendships, to make an impact, to dream together, to refocus and to gain the knowledge the skills needed to go out into the world and share Christ.

    Its two year of crazy schedules, piles of paperwork, 100's of pages of midwifery assignments ( a great resources at the end, your own personal midwifery book).... Is it worth it... yes!

    Most of you know a little bit about my vision of how I feel God is leading me to use midwifery. Mainly so I can have a job that will allow me to get into countries. Foma Hope - (foma- fulfulde word for Hello) Hello Hope.... the idea that I may be able to bring the tools to help muslim women as a midwife, yet it also has the spiritual meaning that I may be able to speak hope in a place of so much darkness. My heart is for the unengaged, the ones that have never heard the gospel, the rural areas that get overlooked. To work among muslim, maybe africa, maybe Pakistian, who knows except God. Africa was where God began to give me the desire to work with Muslim Women, its where the vision began.Walking though the streets on Niger, Niger has the highest infant and maternal death rate in the world. Yet God showed me Hope in the midst of darkness and my desire to be the light in the darkness. So other may find the hope that is in Christ. I know it seems scary sometimes to think about,( going into the Muslim world) I wrestled with idea of working with Muslim for the first two months in Africa, you hear all the stories, that Muslims are bad, they can't be saved, its not safe...( at 19 I didn't know what to think except finally surrender it to God) and say okay your will be done, God if its your will i want that to be my desire as well... ( the only place you can be safe is where God calls you to me, it could cost your life?... the question is would u die for Christ? )

    Yet as I hear the stories of Muslim coming to Christ, my first thought is how many don't know because people are afraid to go, how many don't know because no one has spoken the name of Isa (Jesus). It breaks my heart. Here at Mercy I see very few Muslim women, yet whenever i do I step out of my comfort zone and love them, even last friday i was greeting one of the Muslim patients in Arabic and it was so amazing to see her smile on her face, at first she was unsure, but she soon replied back and kept repeating that one of the girls knew the arabic greeting to her 14 year old daughter. It made her day and mine... : ) simple things can mean so much, and open so many doors.

    Sorry that its kinda long. I miss you all so much! May you have a blessed week!

    In Christ
    Until all have heard
    Heidi McCully