Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A time to reflect

So I spent the first part of my week away from Davao, away from the noise, the lights, away from Mercy, and spent three wonderful days on the island of Samal.

Its about 45 min trip from Mercy.... 20 min taxi, 20 min ferry ride....

I got off shift at 2 on Sunday and we arrived in Samal around 4. After the short ferry ride and a 10 min motor Ashton and I ended up at Precious Gardens of Samal.

It was perfect, cute little room, beachline, floating cottage, a simple garden to explore, amazing homemade food. Great pizzia, yummy complementry breakfast. Air Con.

So Sunday and Monday we spent at Precious catching up on sleep, going out to the beach, having dinner out on the floating cottage.

Tuesday was the day where we took a motot tour of the island. 6 hours of dirt roads : )

I was a little sore by the end but it was so so worth it!! We had a small map and we just pointed to diffrent places and then we stopped every hour or so to rest, go to diffrent beaches, walk around little beachfront villages, walk down steep trails to the waterfalls.

Once we got onto the other side of Samal, the rice fields it was like I wasn't even in the city, that is was miles away. The quiet farmland, the simple sounds of the ocean the tide and no city in sight! At Precious you are facing Davao so you can see the warehouse district and all the lights, however once you go to the other side of Samal, nothing but little islands and green trees. It made my heart sing, renewed!

While I was on Samal I got some time to reflect and just be with Jesus. It was so amazing, no distractions, I could sit out on the dock and just look at the stars. It was just what I needed!

So many times Ashton and I would look back at each other and let of a squil with delight because we were in the Philippines, its seems crazy, yet in many cases it is just that. (She is 20 and I am 21) We felt Gods call and packed up everything and said "Here am I send me", we both feel that God is calling us to be midwives, both of us have a desire to see lives changed, we want to use midwifery to impact the nations for Christ.

So many people have a dream yet don't go after it. So many people wait because they don't want to fail or feel they don't have all the pieces....They feel so small too young, not eqquiped to do so. If God gave us all the pieces it wouldn't be walking by faith.

Is it hard to leave everything??... yes it is.... its it worth it??... yes it I feel unsure sometimes....yes...daily I have to let God take my hands and lead me, in HIM I find my strength to continue on.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Christmas Break.... free time... I'm not sure what to do with that

So what does free time mean? Its Christmas Break...

I'm in the Philippines.... its low 30 C and depending on the day its rainy and 25 C. Its the weirdest weather I've been in during Christmas.

I can't complain. I love the snow and cold, but... I'll be heading off to Samal Island day after Christmas for a couple of days!! Get some beach time, motorbike across the island, see the bat cave, amazing waterfalls... and oh so much more!

I'm on break but I still have a few things to look over, I have one last question to finish on one of my past assignments. A month ago I lost 8 pages or so of my assignment and I rushed together the last little bit and now I have to redo a few question. Oh well, the first part was almost perfect so I had a feeling that would have to redo the last couple questions. Its nutrition so I can have some fun with putting it together. Just one more question anyways. : )

I also have Cebuano to practice and continue to study. I've only had two classes in the last 5 weeks, either from being sick, or being in the bukid. We had two weeks of review, one week was the week I was in the bukid. So I got to review the first couple lessons and get the basics down. Now I need to continue on... self study... sometimes I would prefer to be in a place where I am engaged in the language 24/7 so I could practice more, and I don't hear my native language all the time. It would make things so nice... or at least that is my theory... since I would be speaking it more, and the people wouldn't be speaking English to me.

I am so ready to have a day of rest, its been one thing that I've tried to keep is at least 1-2 days a month where I could just rest, reflect and just spend time with the Lord. Sadly it didn't happenas much as I wanted it to.... with baby checks, and shifts. It will be something that I will work into my schedule once we start up again.

It will feel weird not having something to do, or to work on. I'm excited about it however I know its going to be weird, and my brain will be working a million miles a min, trying to figure out what to do.... rest... That is one thing God is telling me to do... rest, rest my child.... rest in who he is, rest and just reconnect.

To begin my break I am off to watch a movie, and then bed... time to relax!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Trusting in the Lord

When all things seems lost, or at least not going the way it looks like it should. All the Praise goes to God because HE is the one to sustain me.

Britt Nicole - Have your own way

Feels like I’ve been here forever
Why can’t You just intervene
Do You see the tears keep falling
And I’m falling apart at the seems

But You never said the road would be easy
But You said that You would never leave
And You never promised that this life wasn’t hard
But You promised You’d take care of me

So I’ll stop searching for the answers
I`ll stop praying for an escape
And I’ll trust You God with where I am
And believe that You will have Your way
Just have Your way
Just have Your way

When my friends and my family have left me
And I feel so ashamed and so cold
Remind me that You take broken things
And turn them into beautiful

Even if my dreams have died and even if I don`t survive
I’ll still worship You with all my life, my life

I know You will, I won’t forget
You love me, have Your way

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The cost for following Christ

Last week while in the Bukid our team decided to go up the mountain to another town further up the road. We didn't stay because the roads were really bad and they were expecting more rain. However God yesterday really convicted me of having a doubtful heart and unaware spirit as I was reflecting on my experiences.

We got to this one village around noon weds and the whole time my heart felt really heavy, oppressed, and all I could think was we needed to get away. As we unloaded the truck, the moskit nets were passed out and we went up to the back room on the little sari-sari store (little store, sells coke, candy...etc). We decided to just rest in the upstairs room, because we were not allowed to travel outside the court yard, which again irritated me. It wasn't until after we got to the other town, that I noticed that there was the spiritual oppression that overshadowed the village. While I tried to rest in the sari-sari store I couldn't rest, I just felt overwhemed (claustrophobic) it was like someone was choking me, I couldn't breath, it kept getting worse as an old man outside the sari-sari store started chanting on and on outside the building.
Finally I just asked God to allow me to sleep, soon after I fell asleep but again woke up with the overshadowing pressure upon me.

On Thursday night we freely got to discuss our time in the bukid with ate mary jean and her husband Kua June. Sure enough we had all felt the spiritual oppression while being in the last village. As we discussed what had happened, Mary Jean told us of the spiritual opression that held that village. The story that really touched me was of the old sick man that was demon possessed accepted Christ, but died a couple days later, and then during VBS one of the workers was presenting the gospel and as he began to share he stopped because he was being choked, and the only thing that released him was though Prayer. Two years ago they started work in that village and last week was only the 2nd team of mercy students to go with her.

Yesterday in the Orange house I got to have a discussion with Amber and Nikki about what had happen and the idea of spiritual warefare, I've seen it.... yes, though I don't always see it as it is. Sadly I feel that living in the west as shadowed my eyes. I feel that the doubt of not understanding and the doubt of unbelief in the reality of this subject hinders so many people. For many its scary, for many its a reality of life, for many it seems like a fairy tale.

The reality that though Prayer and by the Cross Jesus has the victory!

So many question come to mind, so many to ponder...

Would u die for Christ? Would you give your life?

What does that look like?

What does it take to take a stand for Christ?

prayer request....

Since coming back from the bukid God has continued to open my eyes to the muslim world and working in rural areas.

I'm planning on attending a muslim background church first sunday in Jan... I work day the rest of the month and am attending an evening service at the foursquare church. I am praying that I can attend the MBC in the mornings and then every other sunday night attend evening service.

The pastor the the MBC is an american and his wife came from a muslim family but now follows Christ.

When I've gotten to speak about my heart to work with Muslims, its been really disappointing, sad, please pray for the Philippino church to catch God's heart for Muslim here in Davao and else where on the island. So many people feel that muslims are unreachable, unstable, and unpredictable and lost with no hope. That they are Muslim and they will stay that way. Yet We have Jesus and he is the hope of all the nations! I know part of it is I am young, and single and they are worried about me, yet the safest place is where God calls you. My prayer is for nationals to rise up and reach their own people here in the Philippines.

I have a test of Monday, and I only have this week to finish because of outreach...

Saturday, December 11, 2010

While in the bukid I learned...

I've been in the city for four month, and I finally got to get out on the dirt roads and see the mountians.

After spending a week in the Bukid I learned so many things...

I faced my fears of riding motorcycles long distances. bumpy dirt roads, steep hills, riding 4 to a motor.

learned to trust the Lord in a new way

learned to trust the drivers

God continues to confirm my hearts desire to work with rural tribal muslim people

I learned that I really like durian

I learned how to cook rice in plastic bags

I learned how to cook duck/chicken in sprite

I learned to its okay to face your fears

I learned that so many people are unreached, even in the Philippines, I learned that its hard to go and its hard to even go to places by motorcycles. Yet some villages you can only walk in.

Things I loved about the Bukid

I loved the quietness

I loved working with ate mary jean... to see her work with her own tribal people

I loved the mountains

I loved to view

In the end I loved the motor rides

I loved just watching people interact

In the bukid I got to...

see what midwifery looks like outside the urban setting

I got to see how knowing the heart language is so important

I got to see that it is possible to work out in rural area

I got to see the hardships and the joys of life

I only got a taste of what it means to live in the bukid.

May the God of hope will you with all peace and joy...may you abound in hope... romans 15:13

again my heart goes back to this verse. If I could I would be back in the bukid, I would be in Africa, in the middle east, again my heart yearns to work among those that have never heard about Jesus. Last week I got a see the reality that many people are unreached, no medical care, no one to speak the word of truth. So many villages... I can't even count how many we just drove though, and even more that were unreachable due to rain, bad roads, or for some no road exsist.

So I am back in Davao, a city of 1.3 million, two weeks ago I wasn't sure if I could continue here in the city, then I got the e-mail saying I was going to the bukid. Yet God has given me grace upon grace. It was just what I needed. Last week I learned I need to be here, I couldn't get the knowledge, the supervision needed to go where I want to go later. I am not comfortable here, and yets its where God wants me to be. My prayer is that I wouldn't be comfortable, I don't want to lose my sense of need for the Lord, for his word.

Friday, December 10, 2010

My Trip to the Bukid....though the eyes of my camera...

Romans 1:20

For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, nhave been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

Psalm 33:8
Let all the earth fear the Lord;

let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him!

Psalm 33:1Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him,

on those who hope in his steadfast love,

Proverbs 9:10
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,

and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

Psalm 40:3
He put a new song in my mouth,

a song of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear,

and put their trust in the Lord.

Psalm 111:10
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;

all those who practice it have a good understanding.

His praise endures forever!

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all ljoy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Friday, December 3, 2010

A servents heart

A Servents Heart... what does that mean??

What does it mean to seek the Lord with your whole heart??

Thoughout Psalms the call to seek the Lord, to seek Him with you whole heart is stated over and over again.

I've had many stuggles while being here. I've learned more about who I am, where I came from, How its made me who I am.

I've seen life... I've seen death... I've seen tears of joy and tears of pain.

I've seen miricles and I've had to ask the tough questions.... why did that happen?? I just don't understand...

However I've come to terms that God is in control. I dont' understand why things happen, they just do, I can't see the end result, I can't see the ending in the midst of a crazy situation and I may never see the ending while I am here on earth.

To seek the Lord... I've never heard God's voice so clearly, and I've never question God so much in the last four months. They seem so distant from each other yet, so close. Its in the hard times we come to see that we need Jesus...

I've been though a lot, and I've seen so much, not just here in the Philippines or in Niger, but also at home, my childhood.

Though living in community I've learn so much about fellowship and relationships. I've been able to be open and just share what the Lord has done, I've held back so many things, and I had kept barriers between different people in my life, family, friends, mentors, elders. To me it was for protection, however, it was because of my pride, my shame because I didn't want anyone to know the true me. I didn't want to let anyone down, I didn't want to stand up and speak. Yet in brokeness there is freedom. The glories of God grace!!!

The broken, the misunderstood me. The idea of what was normal, were so abnormal. From living situations, my mother health issues, the reason behind living with my grandparents. God is Faithful, I say it over and over. The Lord is Faithful, so many times I could of walked down the wrong path for just one day, one moment and I don't know if I would be here today.

In the midst of it all God kept his word in my heart, even though I didn't understand, I didn't know if I could trust the feeling, however I felt they were right. Just as it says in Psalms he will write his words on the hearts of all people, of all nations.

Over and over again I read though Psalms and it just set my heart free, I am in awe of the wisdom found within. As I finish Psalms I just have to continue into Proverbs... words of Wisdom.... Wisdom.... Knowledge... The Fear of the Lord.

As I prepare to go to the bukid next week. I know nothing, I am a planner, and its so hard to just sit back and enjoy the ride. Right now I know date leaving and date returning. I've heard I'll be on motorcyles for hours on end, I will giving injections, giving health teaching, doing prenatals. Its just the basic... I know the Lord said go... so my reply is Lord send me... Lord send me...To know that calling, to be called by God... may I have the right understanding of what it means to Fear HIM.

To be a servent.... to give myself, my all to the lover of my soul.... to the one that took my from the miry clay and set me upon the rocks. I am safe and sound in the Him. To know that brings comfort, to dig deeper bringa much joy, peace, yet heartache as God continues to mold me.

To have a Servents heart, to want to serve, to want to share of the hope that I've come to find. To dream dreams, to ask for healing, to ask for visions, to ask or wisdom and guidance.

I ask for wisdom and that pray that my eyes will be open and my heart set free so that I can live my life wholly surrendered to Jesus. To be free, to speak unashamed, to proclaim his goodness, to seek his face.

"Grace be with you" may the works of my hand proclaim his steadfast love, may I be a servent, may his grace fall upon those that I want to reach with his love. May that be the prayer of the Church. I look down at my stethescope and read that message. The ending to Titus... "Grace be with you" May his grace be with you and may you know his love.

Everything... but catching a baby...

So I am on night shift.... and I am last up... even though my last baby was the 23rd. Crazy, we have had lots of conts come in. Otherwise its been slow.

Being last up I got endorsed a immediate, so I got to everything but catch the baby and chart. So

I got some baby time... yay!

while cleaning and charting and assisting, and doing what ever need to be done

To have a servents heart has been my prayer. I got to see what it means to serve tonight, I got to witness my classmate catch her first baby! YAY! Baby Girl....

then in the middle of charting I got to go assist, the chart for another birth. All within about 20 min. So much for a quiet shift.

I even transported a patient to DMC by myself...

Now I am next up, and I may be able to catch a baby before I go off to the bukid.... we will see : )