Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I Dare Call HIM Father...

A loving father, a loving family. Doesn't everyone dream of what could be... or should I say should be.

What is your ideal picture of a father, of a family?? How does the family function?

The influences of childhood make the foundation of everything. From they way a person views family, how they recieve and exchange ideas, gifts, and even relationships.

I dare call him father.... Do I dare call God my father...

Growing up with an absent/abusive father, my idea of a father is stained, yet God calls us to view him as a father. As a father loves his kids. The stained idea of love... if your not good enough I won't love you, .... if you do this i will do this.... Do this because I love you, yet its in fear of rejection, fear of death, the uncertain outcomes.

Romans 12 1-3

I appeal to you therefore, brothers,1 by the mercies of God, to present your bodies bas a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Its been a struggle that I've had for a while. Yet I never really understood what the struggle was until Sunday night during night shift I picked up " I Dare to Call Him Father" a book written by a Pakistani Muslim women and her encounter with God...

I found myself living the word of the book, watching her as God met her in dreams. As she knelt down to pray with her Quran and the old Bible she deperately cried out to God in confusion because she grew up within a Muslim society yet, she had experienced something new, something alive though the Word of God the Bible. As she poured her heart out before the Lord he met her and his response to her question was which book did you come to find me as Father. Which book did you find the spirit that set your free?

The answer was right before me, God was asking me the same question, he was wanting to show me his love, his love the love of the Father. Its something new, something I've never experienced. He was asking me to forgive and forget the hurts, the harsh words, from my earthly father and let him be the Father of my heart and change my heart to beat like his.

I couldn't finish the book, since my patient was getting active, so placed a book mark in the book and went to check on my patient. As I walked into the birthroom, I saw she was on her knees praying. As I knelt down beside her I couldn't help but find myself humming the song " I have a maker"... He know my name, He know my every thought.... and sees each tear that falls.

Within a half hour little MJ was born, 7lb 11 oz at 2:22am. It was a sweet birth, yet God continued to stir up my heart, to let go of all things I knew and lay them at his feet. Though out the birth I couldn't speak on word of Cebuano. I tried and nothing wouldn't come, the more I tried the more frusterated and more distant I became to everyone in the room. Yet I cried out to God, he didn't answer in the way I wanted. Yet he did answer He was showing me that this is what happen when you quinch the Holy Spirit. I had become distant, even though I was trying I wasn't getting anywhere, I understood everything but it wasn't prosperious.

I learned a lot Sunday, I learned a lot in midwifery, a lot about myself, what I am, who I am , and that God calls me his Child. I am a Child of the King, he is asking his people to call out to him as a Father. I knew that God wasn't finished... yet I wasn't prepared for what was to come...

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