At the very begining I knew that wanting to be a midwife would changed my presepective on life. However I didn't know why or how. I just knew that things were going to change. Upon coming here I had never seen a birth, I didn't know what to suspect, from within the clinic, of Davao, and even of the Philippino culture.
One of the obvious reasons was just leaving... leaving my comfort zone and going half way across the world to become a midwife. However traveling and moving to a new place tends to change your prespective on things anyways. In the last three month (its crazy that its been that long) I've learned that midwifery isn't just an job, but a lifestyle. Always changes, and you never know whats ahead.
Two years ago I knew I wanted to go to the work with Muslim women, but midwifery didn't even cross my mind. A year and a half ago I was content on going to CC and being a nurse. It was almost a year ago (sept) that i first heard about MMC and the clinic here.
Now I'm here, I'm in the Philippines of all the places to be. If someone told me I would be living in a city of 1.6 million + people I would of walked away laughing at the idea of a small farm girl wanting to go live out in the bush......living in a large city...What??
God had a plan, and at first i was hesitant even with the idea of living in a large city, being away from home, would I even enjoy midwifery, could I handle birth and all that goes along with it. As I continued to research midwifery God continued to break down the door of hostility of my heart. Within a few weeks I knew that if the door stayed open, that I was going to walk though it.
Well I am here, and I've never been so busy. I've never been streached this much spiritual, emotionally, or physicially. I've seen life and death, I've seen how close they really are. I've had days where I all I could do is sit on the balcony with my bible and just wait on the Lord, and days where I didn't want to pick my bible because I was confused, hurt, upset, but Jesus is faithful!!
In the end I've come to relieze I've been blessed beyond measure. Yes I've had a rough childhood, Yes I've seen a lot of things that most people will never see. I've been beaten, broken, torn to pieces, yet that was where I meet the Lord. In brokeness I are complete! In Christ I find strength to move forward, In Chist I find my rest. In Christ I find my hope.
Even right now its midnight, I just finished my dinner because we had a crazy shift at the clinic. 5 births during shift, with postpartum almost full(4 bed) at the begining of shift ( 5 assist : ), 1 more and then I can catch : ) .... I'll get to handle soon). In the last 3 months I've seen 28 birth, observed a few, charted for at least 15 and assisted for 9, and almost 60 prenatals. If I assist one more and catch the next it will be baby # 30.
About 8 months ago God began to stir up my heart for midwifery and many of you know about the dream/idea of Foma-Hope and how I want to use midwifery and someday go to the Muslim world and be the light of Christ, by being able to give practical care to pregnant women, but also build relationships with the women that I serve that I may be able to share Christ and the hope that I've found in Him.
Sometimes I want to pinch myself because it doesn't even seem real that Foma-Hope is a reality right now as I am being teachable, as I learn to be a midwife, as I gain the knowledge needed for where may God lead me.
Well I better stop since its after midnight and I have Sunday Night shift. Plus I have homework to work on... and I am getting up early for church, international missions Sunday at the Foursquare church... it going to be great to see everyone dressed in tribal clothing and see all the other nation that make up the Davao foursquare community : )
I'll post an update on the international missions service, and about my shift sometime Monday.